Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The hard part...

I would have to say that since the 20 week appointment this pregnancy has gone fairly well. I'm tired a lot and I start to ache if I try to do too much. Well, last week at almost 28 weeks I started having braxton hicks. It has scared me to death. I never had them with Christian so I just didn't expect this. They don't hurt, but they just keep coming no matter how much water I drink or how much I rest. After they started I went to the doctor the next day. Of course, no contractions during the appointment. Off and on I had them all weekend and then last night, Monday night, they started again and I felt like that was enough so we went to the hospital. We were there for one hour. Of course, no contractions by the time I got there. They monitored me for the entire hour, checked me for dilation, and did an ultra sound. Everything was still closed up tight and I wasn't put on bed rest of anything. Just told to take it easy if I start to feel them, drink a lot of water and come back in if I think that they have become too frequent or if they become much more intense. So, it looks like I'm just going to have to live with them until she arrives, unless they miraculously stop (which I am definitely praying for!). It 's just really stressful because you just don't know what to do. You don't know if you need to go to the hospital or the doctor, when is the right time? All I know if that I'm just bound and determined to keep this girl inside of me for as long as possible. Pray that I can.

A Most Unlikely Tale

In mid-November right before Thanksgiving I was 15 weeks along and started having some weird discomfort. It was not necessarily painful but it was odd so I went to the doctor to have it checked out. My mom went with me because Micheal had a lot going on at work and was really working on a deadline. The doctor wanted an ultrasound so we had one with the same tech that had done every ultra sound that I'd ever had at that office. The baby and my cervix both looked good and strong and as she was looking around she asked if we wanted to know that gender. I said no because my husband wasn't with me. She said, "well, I know what you're having so if you change your mind just tell me." We couldn't believe that she knew the gender because the ultra sound had been very quick and I had been watching the entire time and never saw a shot that could have been gender. I just figured that I had had so many ultrasounds that I would have been able to see "the goods" had they been there. My mom was very disappointed that I wouldn't let her tell us the gender. I really thought that if I had Micheal would have been upset. After the ultrasound we met with the doctor. She told us that everything looked good and THEN convinced me to have the tech write the gender down and put it in an envelope. I was skeptical. I just wasn't sure that I wanted to find out the gender of our baby in that way. BUT, the doctor and my mom convinced me to do it. So we did. I took the envelope home that night and Micheal opened it in front of Christian and myself. I was videotaping the whole thing. "It's a Boy!" Honestly we were underwhelmed and kind of resigned to the fact that we never really thought we would have anything other than a boy. I was just thrilled that at my ultrasound that day the baby had been healthy. To my shame, I cried after finding out we were having a boy. It was like no matter what positive thoughts I thought, the tears just kept falling. I'm so outnumbered with all of these men in my house and I had really just prayed for a little girl that I would hopefully have a wonderful relationship with like I have with my mother. Over the next few weeks we really got used to the idea of having another boy. Christian seemed excited. We talked about names and eventually gave him the name Sawyer James, which we just absolutely LOVED. I realized all of the positives about having another boy and really started to bond with him and get excited about him. I ordered a blanket with his name on it. We talked to Christian about him and his name. He was our much anticipated little boy. On December 7th I went to the doctor to have my 20 week appointment and big ultrasound. My regular tech was on vacation so I had a different lady, one that I had never seen before. The ultra sound went well. She was very thorough and as she checked each part of the baby she remarked that everything looked great, measuring right on track. Approximate weight 14 oz. Right on track. She told us that she would confirm the gender at the end. She started looking between the baby's legs and she was doing A LOT of looking...so were we. We couldn't see anything. She looked from different angles, the baby's hand was in the way at one point, looking, looking. At this point I realized that we weren't seeing anything because there was nothing to see. No male parts. Micheal and I just kept looking at each other wondering if we were both thinking the same thing. The tech actually then left the room and got another ultrasound tech. She came in and looked around on her own. They were kind of talking in code and pointing at their screen. Then they said that they both agreed and told us that we weren't having a boy. We were having a girl. I started to cry, my heart started to race. I said, "you can't tell us that unless you are 100% sure". They said that they were. There were no male parts, just the 3 lines of a female. They printed out several pictures from several angles. We were having a girl. I thought that Micheal might whoop and holler throughout the entire office. There are no words for the shock that we felt. We weren't angry at all though. We had mixed emotions. A little mourning for our Sawyer, but then also elation to be expecting a sweet girl. Above all, a healthy baby that we had been blessed with. A baby that was a blessing to our family whether it had been a girl OR a boy.